I'll set the scene for you : wake up at 7.20 am (taxi coming at 7.45 ) not hungover yet as I'm still on dad from last night. Press snooze. WHY was snooze invented, it only sets one up for trouble. Thank god the taxi was late.. Get to the airport and try to eat my hangover away. Waiting in line for security check, I see an old man trying to cut the snake of metal poles that shows us how to queue (wtf?) unfortunately for him and much to MY enjoyment he did the limbo a little too low and ended up face first on the tiles. great. Creeped some people out on bbm while I was bored and had some hangover humour.When I handed my ticket to be checked etc. I kid you not I was the only person on the whole plane who got asked for id.. I had to feel if maybe I had a turban on that I'd forgotten about!? On the plane now, and this ALWAYS happens to me. I try not make eye contact with anyone, as if it's going to better my chance of having an empty seat next to me BUT the one time I happen to look up - BOOM my eyes lock with the fattest person on board.. and I just know.. he's headed my way.. whats even better is he's in the middle!
So now I'm at the window and bursting for the loo, fatty is having a lovely dos next to me : mouth open, head hanging and the odd loud grunt. I have to some how climb OVER him from my seat, jump onto the other ladies chair and then onto the floor. I manage the first time as I'm facing the people behind me, but on the way back they where the lucky audience of my version of " that thong tha thong thong thoooong". Finally we land and I make my way onto to the Gautrain, chewing gum obviously as I don't want to greet my mom with lasts night tequila mouth. Get a tap on the shoulder and its a security guard " es-ca-UUUSe me sista. No gum allowed" hand out, waiting for me to spit it out like a 5 year old does. Even though I'm thinking is this guy for real, I still spit it out, but into my hand not his don't worry. This day, could not have gone any better.. its karma for last nights antics.
Finally I'm home and its time for a sleep.. bye.
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