Rocktober ( sorry about the corny-ness)

I wish I could say that I have been working on my beach body and tan so that I now resemble a shorter version of Giselle, and that is the reason for lack of posts..sadly this is not the case. I have just been down right lazy and out of any thing fun happening. sorry lovers.

BUUT October is going to be such a rockingg month, earlier on I was just trying to work out how I will afford all these festivities..
1.Gods Kitchen
2.Cold Play
3.Rocking The Daisies
4.David Guetta and Akon
5. Kings of Leon

Well thats all that I can think of on the spot, and I am not including all of the extra trance parties happening every weekend. Shite each is at least R200. I think I might start taking out lotto tickets or gambling on occasion..

Think before you drink

Sorry it's been a while since my last post.. but it's been a hectic week. You must all be dying without my daily dose of humour ( I know right ). Well, here is a little story I thought you might enjoy!

Rumor has it not long ago,

2 Herschel girls let all things show

They guzzled 1 too many shots

& soon where filming naked bots.

Out came Nutella and some licks along the thigh

While a dear man friend was videoing close by

They thought they were being funny and pretty cool

Until the video was circling school

Moms and Dads where all called in,

To watch their daughters late night sins

Tears went flying, stories they were denying.

All the while, Mr. video was grinning

As his rep. around school was certainly winning.

Forever they will be "Nutella Sluts"

So please remember it's not worth the fuss

Don't get undressed and be your own Jenna Jameson

Rather keep your dignity...& put your pajamas on.

Dress to impress

Boys.Men..whatever you are. I think it's time you come to the realisation that you are no longer in 1st year (for those of you who are, you're excluded) and Stellenbosch Jool is not a year round function.. so please, put your wife beaters and T-Savs away. Get in the shower, have a scrub, cut your hair and give your self some tlc man! It is so frustrating to see a guy who thinks it's ok to go 'bergie like' because they're not at work or "it's chilled man". First impressions do count and it makes such a difference when you make an effort with what you're wearing and ESPECIALLY what you smell like.

Places like Trenery and Country Road don't exist for nothing. Someone who is also very worth looking at is Chad Hudson. His line Dirty Funka has just launched and he has awesome jerseys and cardis etc. for boys. I'll get photos up this week.

Love.ya.byiie.

Feeling very sorry for... me.

No funny stories for today. I'm lying in bed with my mouth all stitched up and in agony.. Feeling very sorry for myself ( which I'm sure you can imagine).I have now seen at least 40 women get Porcelain Veneers and cry when their new look is revealed. Hand flapping in front of face, tears flying, step RIGHT up to mirror "I never knew I was so beautiful". Come on! There is such crap on tv. I've decided to turn it off and read my book.. It's a little hard to concentrate as I am super zonked on pain killers. Who even knows what I'm writing here ;)

Peace Biyatches.

ohh what a day. are you having a laugh???

I'll set the scene for you : wake up at 7.20 am (taxi coming at 7.45 ) not hungover yet as I'm still on dad from last night. Press snooze. WHY was snooze invented, it only sets one up for trouble. Thank god the taxi was late.. Get to the airport and try to eat my hangover away. Waiting in line for security check, I see an old man trying to cut the snake of metal poles that shows us how to queue (wtf?) unfortunately for him and much to MY enjoyment he did the limbo a little too low and ended up face first on the tiles. great. Creeped some people out on bbm while I was bored and had some hangover humour.When I handed my ticket to be checked etc. I kid you not I was the only person on the whole plane who got asked for id.. I had to feel if maybe I had a turban on that I'd forgotten about!? On the plane now, and this ALWAYS happens to me. I try not make eye contact with anyone, as if it's going to better my chance of having an empty seat next to me BUT the one time I happen to look up - BOOM my eyes lock with the fattest person on board.. and I just know.. he's headed my way.. whats even better is he's in the middle!

So now I'm at the window and bursting for the loo, fatty is having a lovely dos next to me : mouth open, head hanging and the odd loud grunt. I have to some how climb OVER him from my seat, jump onto the other ladies chair and then onto the floor. I manage the first time as I'm facing the people behind me, but on the way back they where the lucky audience of my version of " that thong tha thong thong thoooong". Finally we land and I make my way onto to the Gautrain, chewing gum obviously as I don't want to greet my mom with lasts night tequila mouth. Get a tap on the shoulder and its a security guard " es-ca-UUUSe me sista. No gum allowed" hand out, waiting for me to spit it out like a 5 year old does. Even though I'm thinking is this guy for real, I still spit it out, but into my hand not his don't worry. This day, could not have gone any better.. its karma for last nights antics.

Finally I'm home and its time for a sleep.. bye.

Give it a Trance ☮

I like lame music with words that have sentimental value. My friends laugh at me because most of them are into some sort of electro/trance/ DJ's etc and I don't have a clue what they're on about half the time. To get me on the dance floor takes A LOT of persuasion and tequila. If you want a laugh try get me out there.. ha. Last time I went to an out-of-comfort music jol, was to a Dub Step thing and I still have images of myself copying the girl next to me : just raise your hand (whole hand up or just two fingers, your choice) and pump it into the air.. along with the beat of course, not sure I was able to do both.

Tonight I'm braving Labrynth at Trinity with some of Cape Towns biggest music livers.. trance and electro are their life. I've been told to wear flats and casual clothes. I picture it to be like the movies, when I walk in the DJ is going to scratch his disk and everyone's going to be like w.t.f!? haha jokes, it wont be so bad.. I've been practicing some basic moves I learnt on how to dance 101. Also, I have a wingman who's not so trancey herself. Wish me luuck. I might just find my calling tonight.

look it up.

A very cool site to visit if you're bored or just looking for random laughs is : www.thefactsite.com

"Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?"

In movies you always see the same type of guys throwing out the most hilarious pick up lines. Although they never really work, they are pretty funny and you have to give a guy credit for trying... Here are some very funny/classic ones I've heard or read about:

Do you wash your pants in Windex? Because I can see myself in them.

Let's do breakfast tomorrow. Should I call you or nudge you?

Am I cute, or do you need another drink?

Aw, girl, I'm gonna have to put you on my "To Do" List!

I have a six inch tongue and I can breath through my ears

Do you sleep on your stomach? No. Can I?

I guarantee you that none of these will be work, but it will definitely make for an interesting night :)

Pick meeeee

I 100% support everyone and their blogs HOWEVER i'm thinking that Fashion blogs are a tad over done these days and awesomeness blogs like mine ;) are not getting recognized enough. Please like/follow/show your friends my blog....

Fail proof system. ha! ' ?....!'

A dear friend of mine, dear but disgusting told me a while ago about a system he brings into play with the 'ladies'. I remembered it today and couldn't help but chuckle to myself. We'll call him Fabio. Fabio, bless his heart is some what of a nympho and not shy to share his stories with those who are keen to lend an ear. Be careful if you catch him after too many beers as you will be re living his reality pornos. Anyways the other night after a jol we all went home and he goes straight to the computer and logs onto FB. I immediately am thinking, oh god this can't end well. He calls me over and with a huge grin on his face and points to the screen...

Through slightly blurred vision I make out his sent messages and a lot of them having been sent right now. The message.. A single question mark. I'm busy thinking old Fabs is super pissed tonight. However he dives into the explanation of his 'system'. Which is this, he sends about 10 girls a ? And if they reply with a ! He knows he is getting lucky. What intrigues me most is he sends all of them at the same time.. Which lead to me ask 'but what if more that one replies with a !' And to that he replies with a smug ' well then its my lucky night and I'm a every lucky guy.

Sis on you boys and shame on you slappers :)

quality not comfort

For one to state that they dress themselves for comfort, is.. Bullshit. I know I don't get up in the morning and think - today I will be most comfortable in long johns, my gardeners hoodie and grans socks.Its ok to wear this because its comfortable.NO!

This is not ok! I'm not trying to be your Trynny or Susanna here but seriously put in some effort and dress to impress. It's a lot better for ones self confidence to get a comment about nice boots rather than a turned up nose at your velvet tracky bums.

Straight eye for a queer guy.......?

I was on a cruise for the holidays and on our second night met a very sweet very camp guy. After one too many drinks he confessed to me ( while making eyes at the guy at the end of the bar for hours) that he had slept with that guy on the first night. I wasn't too sure why he was giving me all the details after only knowing each other for a few hours.However I thought i'd try my luck and probe with the questions and see where I got. I started off chilled with a " oh so do you like him, did you meet him here etc" ?. After a long pause and sigh he says, "well the thing is,this guy (at the end of the bar) is actually on the cruise with his girlfriend and her family and after a few drinks last night told me he had always been curious about being with another guy.. and so it happened on the top deck of the boat in the early hours of the morning.

I couldn't help but respond with a seriously shocked.. "oh my god!" Shame poor guy, his experimenter had then proceeded to act like he didn't know him and be all hanky dory with his girlfriend and his family for the rest of the trip :(.

So um ladies... watch out and don't let your boyfriends wander to far.. haha!

its a shore thing.

Jersey shore, Jordy Shore, Clifton shore.. we all claim hate them but we secretly love to watch other people being clowns and behaving like slappers. Unfortunately the cast of my all time fave. Jersey shore is being revamped.. apparently snook dog and sitch are demanding too much cash for each episode and as Jersey is fill of aspiring GTL"S they will no doubt have an abundance of newbies to choose from.

I wont lie.. I will miss the old ones, but it will be interesting to see how many snookies there are to offer.

Viva babay

Weeeeeelllll finally the boys have decided to grace our shores with their presence, much to the whole of the Countries delight. The only draw back.. getting tickets. Computicket is giving away min information and the crowds that will be descending on Computicket stores tomorrow morning (at all hours) will be a sight to see. Good Luck... if not, I'll wave from Golden Circle.

Meet Barry.

This little guy is Barry the sheep, my cartoon. I am in the process of writing a book about him and so wanted you to get to know him. He will be a feature on this blog from today onwards.

Appreciate the effort please. This is not easy to do on paint :)

ahh. life

Lying in bed with flu. Here one tends to re-evaluate life and set goals (usually unrealistic ones) for the days to come only to make you feel better about yourself. So for me its to blog more.. because I have become very slack and I know how you all look forward to my many adventures and to be more proactive. Remember though I'm still in bed so tomorrows reality could be very different.

Two very cool blogs to check out by the way : flimsythekitten.blogspot.com and shmittenkitten.blogspot.com.

Dont worry they're not all animal rightsy.. one is cartoons and the other is just classic!

Royally Bound

So the much awaited Royal wedding went down yesterday.. and wow what a spectacle. Kate is one of the most beautiful brides i've ever seen and well,William - what more needs to be said. However looking at photos yesterday I did form the opinion that I would much rather have wed the Will from 10yrs ago than the balding prince of today..

Will back in 2007 :

The Prince strangely moving backwards to a frog:

Small rant and rave!!!

Boys. You are so gullible and so stupid. While thinking how to approach this post I often had to stop myself from sounding like a raging feminist lesbo however these days I think life would be a whole lot simpler if we were to re-evaluate the relationships and dynamics that exist between male and female. I'm not denying the fact that girls need boys and vise versa, that when you're in love life is great. What I am saying however is that boys far too often test their luck and think its OK to say what they need to say if it'll benefit them in the end. There is the old argument about how can boys sleep with as many girls as they like and be considered cool or a ladies man while girls will be called slappers if they do the same.. (I think Christina Aguilera wrote a song about it!?) After a while it gets lame and everyone just wants the whining to stop but a friend of mine recently told me a story that made me think about this whole girl/boy saga and realize a thing or two.

So my friend got a random BBM request the other day from some dooshy name that she had no idea who it belonged to, but still she accepted seeing as Black Berries belong to 90% of our peer group and she thought she may actually know this guy. Anyway turns out that she doesn't know this guy but he is being chatty so she makes conversation. A lull in the conversation is experienced (no one wants a lull) and so to lighten up the convo and say good bye she sends "would love to chat but i'm watching porn.night". For most this would be inappropriate but this friend of mine is a little cooked and so she says whats on her mind or in this case what she thought would be funny. Anyways thinking the response would be non at all or a "night", she was surprised when Dooshbag replied with a "send me something, I'm horny". The conversation then went "like what?". DB: "I dont know, you tell me" friend: "easy tiger". DB: ok. Check BBM friend list 2 seconds later and Dooshbag has deleted her.

At first I didnt understand how this random got her pin or where he came from etc. etc. , but then she went onto explain how he'd got the pin from a mutual friend and thought he would just see if he could try his luck. I mean seriously who is going to start a kinky porno conversation with a complete random over BBM.. NO ONE. Well unless you belong to a late night escort agency. Now I want to know if i'm wrong in being super pissed off at this guy for having the balls to just push his luck, make my friend feel like a slapper and then the fact that he just up and leaves. I do blame her slightly for trying to be funny and playing along for a minuscule period of time but still, who is this oak and what makes him and other guys think that its ok to try with girls in the unlikely situation that it might end well for them!? Basically what is coming across is " I think nothing of you and dont care how you'll feel if I start being creepy to get lucky, and if not well you're not worth my time for anything else'.

Just a thought : If a girl was to approach you boys like this, yes at first you might think you've hit the jackpot but you'd also consider her a creepy whore. So what makes it Ok for you to try on us!?

FML

First fine ever! R400 down the drain. No social life for me this weekend :(

Cheers to the New Years.

Happy New Year everyone.. another year flown by. A toast.. to the dooshbags? Corny I know but I had to.

Everyone complains about new year being the most overrated night of the year, yet we all still feel the need to make a massive hooha about it. I certainly had the most eventful four nights (including new years) of my holiday in St.Francis. A friend and I drove up on the 27th to spend a few nights with some Stellies girls. Our first night there was by far the most entertaining. The four of us girls got all dolled up for a night out at Cobs Cove- the St. F equivalent of Fez. Lucky for us we were staying with someone very well connected in the area which came with many added bonuses. While making ourselves lungable my dear friends confesses to us how she has recently become a "one can woman". Our target for the night therefore: to up her stamina.. OBVIOUSLY!! Our job was soon taken over early on in the evening when a certain girl ( who liked to bat for the other team ) took a liking to one can.

From the moment this Lady Lover singled one can out of a crowd of 400 with a seductive thrust of Jack Daniels shots, I knew where I'd be for the rest of the night. Right there on that couch being fully entertained by this poor girl who was trying so hard to seduce my very hetro sexual friend. By the end of the night I was in awe at the sight of two empty bottles of Jack and the Lady Lover trying to pry open One Cans jaws to fill them up with more JD! I was not too sure how this scenario was going to end however it ended very abruptly when we looked over to see that Lady Lover had basically redecorated the floor with her Jack Daniels dinner. Needless to say we were out of there very fast and in hysterics. One Can had now moved up to Two Bottle Jack.. although when we got home she could not string and English sentence together, or distinguish the difference between a slice of cheese and chicken fillet (which she ate) ... did I mention she is a STRICT vegetarian!? I had definately brought the right friend with me :)