My day started off with very high hopes, I had things to do and accomplish and was very confident that things were going to go according to plan...however : For breakfast the only thing that I felt would satisfy me was a bowl of delicious Special K with ice cold milk. No Special K..shit! Ok second option,my moms musli (it would just have to do). My first mouthful of the musli had an odd musk flavour to it which didnt taste normal, as I took a closer look into the cereal I was greeted by a very cosy family of maggots, who seemed highly irritated that my pouring had distured their home of webs and cacoons (or whatever maggots live in).After having a small gag on the side plate, i decided that i would have to settle for coffee and a cigarette.
Next my nerves started to kick in as it dawned on me that in 2hrs I would be doing my drivers.... FOR THE 6TH TIME, on the same day as my 18 yr old sister. Never at the age of 21 did I think that I would still be trying to organise myself lifts to get around because I didn't have my drivers-C.r.i.n.g.e!!! By now my nerves are almost out of control and I remember my mom gave me a semi tranquilizer to take.. although she stressed I only take one, I took 4 just to be safe. Apparently chocolate also helps calm nerves, so this topped off with some rescue and im buzzing.However I'm still considering a shot of whiskey..? but decide against it.
12:30 pm comes and my instructer is at the gate, as I am about to get into the car i notice he has put these 'funky' (according to him) black and grey canvas like seat covers on. Unfortunately for him the grey area is right where one would sit and I can now clearly see which holes he sweats from and how much he sweats too..gross! Obviously after performing like a champ in the yard with just me and sweat bottoms it's time to hit the testing station. By now my sweat is adding to his and I can feel the sweat soaking into the chair.. this is not helping my situation at all. As I walk into the license department I am reminded why it is one of my top 5 places to be (please note the sarcasm),as one is always greeted by an extremely smiley and polite face behind the counter and the smell of well washed bodies-not. The lady who comes to collect my forms and photos is chewing her gum with her mouth so widely opened that I can easily see what she has had for lunch as well as the fillings in her back molars.She however is not nearly as bad a Talita.. the tester. Talita is explaining the procedure to me so quickly that I can't catch on and am too scared to ask her to repeat herself (thank god i've done this so many times I know the drill better than my own name), not to mention that her top is pulled so far down i'm practically motor boating her cleavage from across the table. Finally she tells me to go wait at the car for pre-trip inspection. Waiting for Talita..waiting..waiting,sweating in the over 30 degrees heat..still waiting..my hair has now started to resemble an oily black frying pan im sweating so much and FINALLY I see her casually strolling towards me under the biggest straw hat ever.. would she share with me-maybe? i'll try some sucking up later. To add to my luck, there is no time for sucking up to Talita, my test begins at 2:00 pm and by 2:05 I am on the phone to my mom in tears, "I have failed again".Clearly Talita didnt feel the need to go soft on me, thanks..... for nothing!
In case you were wondering, my sister did pass, on her first time 2hrs before me. Nothing more degrading than having to ask your younger sister to drive you around for the whole of December. You know what they say, "always a passenger, never a driver"
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