OH.EM.GEE you guuuys

Im so stoked, even though I have hardly written in ages... I just checked the stats on my page views and they are outstanding. Sooo while I am in the process of starting a new blog ( about something compltely different) but just as cool, I am going to try and keep this one as current as possbible!

Thank you for the love!

It's not your boy, it's just your turn.

Cape Town is not a huge city, but it's not tiny either. However, after living here for more than 2 years one can't help but feel a little claustrophobic. When you arrive in a new city, it's like opening a fresh pack of sweets. You have all the options of colours and flavours to choose from.. but getting too excited means you'll' eat all the good ones first and be left with the lime and pineapple flavours. No one likes those. 

Who decides, who you can and can't be with? Boys are some what snakey when it comes to this, but they also get over the fact that their best mate kissed their ex girlfriend within 5 seconds. The bleakness only hangs around if there are still feelings involved, in which case.. he won't get over it so quickly and come banging on your door at 2am, ready to rawl. Girls on the other hand, are a lot trickier. The girl code is : You shall not deceive your friend in ANY way. Be it with her ex, the guy she used to like, the guy she does like, the guy she thinks she likes, the guy she sits next to in class or the guy who she is working with (the list goes on). Basically, if she's mentioned his name.. he is off bounds.. or a bitch fit is bound to occur. 

I understand that we need to be loyal to our friends, as "they will be there in the end, when he's left you all alone". But, in all seriousness, do people have the right to be SO territorial? I think not. If you like the guy make the move because if he's quite nice, chances are someone else is looking at him too. And no,  you cannot be bleak if someone intercepts because you were obviously too slow, or it's just not gonna happen. If you fancy a lunge but the whole time a small voice in your head is saying 'but Sally was with him 4 years ago' you need to chill. If Sally deletes you off FB and BBM due to your actions.. well then, you obviously weren't such good mates now, were you?

  Think of it as though you are scrummaging at the bottom of your sweet jar (even though you know only green and yellow are left) and you oh - so - luckily pick out a RED.. you're obviously going to eat it!! Yes, its selfish but its the truth. Unless you are dating the guy/girl and everyone knows it.. you probably don't have much leg to stand on. So just suck it up and move on.. you'll eventually get your turn. 

"Hi, I'm Jess"

Starting a new job is never easy. You're always the new person that has to be introduced to everyone and repeat the same information over and over again, while trying to come across as cool and collected so that you're employer is reminded they hired the right person.

I just started interning at 2oceansibe, and despite my nerves and first day awkwardness I'm loving it. I can say that I've done more in the last 2 days here then I ever did at my last job. On my first morning I (not sure how) totally forgot to eat breakfast so by 11:00 I was feeling pretty close to passing out. I made it through nonetheless, and when lunch time came I fed myself like a bergie at a buffet. I know as time goes on I'll become accustomed to the team and their ways and start to fit in nicely. Hopefully I will no longer have to eat lunch alone in my car, which might I add is parked in Cape Quarter parking all day due to lack of parking.. therefore I am - R70 poorer each day. So from tomorrow, I need to find myself a parking on the street. I did this for my interview and came back to find a lovely R300 parking on my window. Thank - you traffic department, I now use that pretty pink slip every time I park somewhere I'm not supposed to, thus avoiding more fines.

Got big plans for the weekend.. starting to hit the Trance Dance scene with my mates as they have fallen prey to the music and well, If I don't join them... I will soon be a full blown social recluse.

Wish me luck.

Words for thought .

I am one of the lucky few to still be on holiday ( and possibly unlucky as I too am unemployed). My previous internship at Top Billing Magazine ended briefly when the magazine was taken off the shelves. (The hunt is on). Leaving on Saturday for Cape Town and am very excited to get back to the city and friends. I've moved into a new flat in Wembley Square, with a guy friend of mine.. which will make for lots of fun and interesting stories for you all.

Just a quick moment.. please take time out to read www.bradsbrainteaser.blogspot.com - a friend of mine has recently been diagnosed with Cancer and this is his blog about his journey. He writes so well and is so positive, will most definitely be worth your while.

I am off to start on my 2012 project, to skateboard like a pro. Ill try and video some of it, guaranteed to be a laugh.

Ciao.

Wiiiishing

can we start over?

So its been forever and a day since I've posted.. again. Feel like towards the end of last year I just got lazy and lost motivation to write.. one of my resolutions this year is to try and write everyday.

2011 was filled with so much stuff...

Crushes..good times with friends..people leaving..new people..new homes etc etc but will get to all that in due time.

Watch this space for good things to come!!

Rocktober ( sorry about the corny-ness)

I wish I could say that I have been working on my beach body and tan so that I now resemble a shorter version of Giselle, and that is the reason for lack of posts..sadly this is not the case. I have just been down right lazy and out of any thing fun happening. sorry lovers.

BUUT October is going to be such a rockingg month, earlier on I was just trying to work out how I will afford all these festivities..
1.Gods Kitchen
2.Cold Play
3.Rocking The Daisies
4.David Guetta and Akon
5. Kings of Leon

Well thats all that I can think of on the spot, and I am not including all of the extra trance parties happening every weekend. Shite each is at least R200. I think I might start taking out lotto tickets or gambling on occasion..

Think before you drink

Sorry it's been a while since my last post.. but it's been a hectic week. You must all be dying without my daily dose of humour ( I know right ). Well, here is a little story I thought you might enjoy!

Rumor has it not long ago,

2 Herschel girls let all things show

They guzzled 1 too many shots

& soon where filming naked bots.

Out came Nutella and some licks along the thigh

While a dear man friend was videoing close by

They thought they were being funny and pretty cool

Until the video was circling school

Moms and Dads where all called in,

To watch their daughters late night sins

Tears went flying, stories they were denying.

All the while, Mr. video was grinning

As his rep. around school was certainly winning.

Forever they will be "Nutella Sluts"

So please remember it's not worth the fuss

Don't get undressed and be your own Jenna Jameson

Rather keep your dignity...& put your pajamas on.

Dress to impress

Boys.Men..whatever you are. I think it's time you come to the realisation that you are no longer in 1st year (for those of you who are, you're excluded) and Stellenbosch Jool is not a year round function.. so please, put your wife beaters and T-Savs away. Get in the shower, have a scrub, cut your hair and give your self some tlc man! It is so frustrating to see a guy who thinks it's ok to go 'bergie like' because they're not at work or "it's chilled man". First impressions do count and it makes such a difference when you make an effort with what you're wearing and ESPECIALLY what you smell like.

Places like Trenery and Country Road don't exist for nothing. Someone who is also very worth looking at is Chad Hudson. His line Dirty Funka has just launched and he has awesome jerseys and cardis etc. for boys. I'll get photos up this week.

Love.ya.byiie.

Feeling very sorry for... me.

No funny stories for today. I'm lying in bed with my mouth all stitched up and in agony.. Feeling very sorry for myself ( which I'm sure you can imagine).I have now seen at least 40 women get Porcelain Veneers and cry when their new look is revealed. Hand flapping in front of face, tears flying, step RIGHT up to mirror "I never knew I was so beautiful". Come on! There is such crap on tv. I've decided to turn it off and read my book.. It's a little hard to concentrate as I am super zonked on pain killers. Who even knows what I'm writing here ;)

Peace Biyatches.

ohh what a day. are you having a laugh???

I'll set the scene for you : wake up at 7.20 am (taxi coming at 7.45 ) not hungover yet as I'm still on dad from last night. Press snooze. WHY was snooze invented, it only sets one up for trouble. Thank god the taxi was late.. Get to the airport and try to eat my hangover away. Waiting in line for security check, I see an old man trying to cut the snake of metal poles that shows us how to queue (wtf?) unfortunately for him and much to MY enjoyment he did the limbo a little too low and ended up face first on the tiles. great. Creeped some people out on bbm while I was bored and had some hangover humour.When I handed my ticket to be checked etc. I kid you not I was the only person on the whole plane who got asked for id.. I had to feel if maybe I had a turban on that I'd forgotten about!? On the plane now, and this ALWAYS happens to me. I try not make eye contact with anyone, as if it's going to better my chance of having an empty seat next to me BUT the one time I happen to look up - BOOM my eyes lock with the fattest person on board.. and I just know.. he's headed my way.. whats even better is he's in the middle!

So now I'm at the window and bursting for the loo, fatty is having a lovely dos next to me : mouth open, head hanging and the odd loud grunt. I have to some how climb OVER him from my seat, jump onto the other ladies chair and then onto the floor. I manage the first time as I'm facing the people behind me, but on the way back they where the lucky audience of my version of " that thong tha thong thong thoooong". Finally we land and I make my way onto to the Gautrain, chewing gum obviously as I don't want to greet my mom with lasts night tequila mouth. Get a tap on the shoulder and its a security guard " es-ca-UUUSe me sista. No gum allowed" hand out, waiting for me to spit it out like a 5 year old does. Even though I'm thinking is this guy for real, I still spit it out, but into my hand not his don't worry. This day, could not have gone any better.. its karma for last nights antics.

Finally I'm home and its time for a sleep.. bye.

Give it a Trance ☮

I like lame music with words that have sentimental value. My friends laugh at me because most of them are into some sort of electro/trance/ DJ's etc and I don't have a clue what they're on about half the time. To get me on the dance floor takes A LOT of persuasion and tequila. If you want a laugh try get me out there.. ha. Last time I went to an out-of-comfort music jol, was to a Dub Step thing and I still have images of myself copying the girl next to me : just raise your hand (whole hand up or just two fingers, your choice) and pump it into the air.. along with the beat of course, not sure I was able to do both.

Tonight I'm braving Labrynth at Trinity with some of Cape Towns biggest music livers.. trance and electro are their life. I've been told to wear flats and casual clothes. I picture it to be like the movies, when I walk in the DJ is going to scratch his disk and everyone's going to be like w.t.f!? haha jokes, it wont be so bad.. I've been practicing some basic moves I learnt on how to dance 101. Also, I have a wingman who's not so trancey herself. Wish me luuck. I might just find my calling tonight.

look it up.

A very cool site to visit if you're bored or just looking for random laughs is : www.thefactsite.com

"Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?"

In movies you always see the same type of guys throwing out the most hilarious pick up lines. Although they never really work, they are pretty funny and you have to give a guy credit for trying... Here are some very funny/classic ones I've heard or read about:

Do you wash your pants in Windex? Because I can see myself in them.

Let's do breakfast tomorrow. Should I call you or nudge you?

Am I cute, or do you need another drink?

Aw, girl, I'm gonna have to put you on my "To Do" List!

I have a six inch tongue and I can breath through my ears

Do you sleep on your stomach? No. Can I?

I guarantee you that none of these will be work, but it will definitely make for an interesting night :)

Pick meeeee

I 100% support everyone and their blogs HOWEVER i'm thinking that Fashion blogs are a tad over done these days and awesomeness blogs like mine ;) are not getting recognized enough. Please like/follow/show your friends my blog....

Fail proof system. ha! ' ?....!'

A dear friend of mine, dear but disgusting told me a while ago about a system he brings into play with the 'ladies'. I remembered it today and couldn't help but chuckle to myself. We'll call him Fabio. Fabio, bless his heart is some what of a nympho and not shy to share his stories with those who are keen to lend an ear. Be careful if you catch him after too many beers as you will be re living his reality pornos. Anyways the other night after a jol we all went home and he goes straight to the computer and logs onto FB. I immediately am thinking, oh god this can't end well. He calls me over and with a huge grin on his face and points to the screen...

Through slightly blurred vision I make out his sent messages and a lot of them having been sent right now. The message.. A single question mark. I'm busy thinking old Fabs is super pissed tonight. However he dives into the explanation of his 'system'. Which is this, he sends about 10 girls a ? And if they reply with a ! He knows he is getting lucky. What intrigues me most is he sends all of them at the same time.. Which lead to me ask 'but what if more that one replies with a !' And to that he replies with a smug ' well then its my lucky night and I'm a every lucky guy.

Sis on you boys and shame on you slappers :)

quality not comfort

For one to state that they dress themselves for comfort, is.. Bullshit. I know I don't get up in the morning and think - today I will be most comfortable in long johns, my gardeners hoodie and grans socks.Its ok to wear this because its comfortable.NO!

This is not ok! I'm not trying to be your Trynny or Susanna here but seriously put in some effort and dress to impress. It's a lot better for ones self confidence to get a comment about nice boots rather than a turned up nose at your velvet tracky bums.

Straight eye for a queer guy.......?

I was on a cruise for the holidays and on our second night met a very sweet very camp guy. After one too many drinks he confessed to me ( while making eyes at the guy at the end of the bar for hours) that he had slept with that guy on the first night. I wasn't too sure why he was giving me all the details after only knowing each other for a few hours.However I thought i'd try my luck and probe with the questions and see where I got. I started off chilled with a " oh so do you like him, did you meet him here etc" ?. After a long pause and sigh he says, "well the thing is,this guy (at the end of the bar) is actually on the cruise with his girlfriend and her family and after a few drinks last night told me he had always been curious about being with another guy.. and so it happened on the top deck of the boat in the early hours of the morning.

I couldn't help but respond with a seriously shocked.. "oh my god!" Shame poor guy, his experimenter had then proceeded to act like he didn't know him and be all hanky dory with his girlfriend and his family for the rest of the trip :(.

So um ladies... watch out and don't let your boyfriends wander to far.. haha!

its a shore thing.

Jersey shore, Jordy Shore, Clifton shore.. we all claim hate them but we secretly love to watch other people being clowns and behaving like slappers. Unfortunately the cast of my all time fave. Jersey shore is being revamped.. apparently snook dog and sitch are demanding too much cash for each episode and as Jersey is fill of aspiring GTL"S they will no doubt have an abundance of newbies to choose from.

I wont lie.. I will miss the old ones, but it will be interesting to see how many snookies there are to offer.

Viva babay

Weeeeeelllll finally the boys have decided to grace our shores with their presence, much to the whole of the Countries delight. The only draw back.. getting tickets. Computicket is giving away min information and the crowds that will be descending on Computicket stores tomorrow morning (at all hours) will be a sight to see. Good Luck... if not, I'll wave from Golden Circle.